Because in High School, We Were All Bitches

So I went to a "gifted" high school, which is basically code for Everyone In These Four Walls Is A Major Smart-Ass Know-It-All. My two best friends and I were the resident culture snobs- we went to all the shows of all the bands before those bands were cool, we took all the art and theater classes, we read All The Books.

We also had a list of books you had to read (or be in the process of reading) to be our friend (even though we ourselves hadn't read all of them).

We weren't really that smart.

It was a combination of snobbishness and good, old-fashioned social awkwardness- we really didn't have anything to say to you outside the language of our pop culture ingestion, and we didn't have the skills or emotional maturity to care about whatever it was you were interested in. Also, what you were interested in was inferior. Also, we know more about books than you do, and books are how you are smart, therefore we are smarter than you.

I remembered the list because every year, my best friends from high school try to get together for each other's birthdays, and last week we got together for mine. The list was recalled and then ONE OF MY FRIENDS FOUND IT. I present it to you- this is my friend Tiffany's copy, so the things that are crossed off aren't necessarily ones that I had read by that point:

Note the "read these or die, SMILEY FACE" on the second to last page. There are a few different handwritings because all three of us made contributions (which is also probably why there are repeats).

I look back and think WOW I WAS AWFUL, but really, not much has changed. I still spend most of my time with people who read because I don't have much in common with people who don't, and I suck at small talk and have no people skills so I'm bad at pretending that I'm interested in stuff like your favorite football team or how much you like hiking or whatever.

But at least now I don't have a list of required reading. I AM GROWING, PEOPLE.